Emotions and Me

My emotions and I have a very complex relationship. Over time, we've come to understand each other and develop a deep appreciation for one another. Through long and raging struggles, we've learned to compromise for one another as well, for the betterment of our relationship. We still struggle at times, and it's a constant work in progress, but I'd say things are pretty good.

You see, my emotions are incredibly powerful; at times, too powerful for me to even handle, and they tend to be triggered rather easily. What's especially fun is that they always seem to choose to unleash their strength at the most inopportune times, which causes me to feel completely overwhelmed at times when that's the last thing I need. Fortunately, I've been in these situations enough times to finally figure out how to best alleviate them. 

Rather than to try to fight my emotions and only compound the situation, I've found it's best to acknowledge and accept them, then let them come and go, just like the wind. My emotions have taught me that it's ok to feel, and doing so allows us to be at peace with each other. It allows me to keep myself in check and keep them from affecting anyone else around me. That's not to say I'm ashamed of my emotions–quite the opposite–but to be honest, I'm simply not comfortable showing my emotions in front of others. Like I said, it's a constant work in progress, but believe me when I tell you my emotions are there and continually in full force.

While my emotions can be an inconvenience, they're my favorite thing about me. I love feeling emotions. I'm quite empathetic, and often times I find myself feeling just as much emotions, if not more, than the person I'm empathizing with, regardless of who it may be. Although there's a burden that comes with that, I like it, and my biggest fear is being desensitized to those intense emotions or losing the capacity to feel them. I am terrified of one day seeing or experiencing something amazingly powerful and feeling nothing. I've always said that I'd rather feel extreme emotional pain than nothing at all, because I believe there's solace in those emotional moments. For me, emotions are what keep me feeling human, and without them, I wouldn't know who I was.

They aren't always right; they'll have their tantrums, and sometimes they need to be told to shut it. But like you and me, emotions need to be occasionally reminded that they're important too, and that they matter. Revel in them every once in a while; allow them to make you feel vulnerable. It's during those times when I feel more human than ever.