I've always enjoyed writing, going back to when I was young. I remember my dad would bring home notebooks from his business trips, and I'd take those notebooks and fill them up with all sorts of stories. As I got older, while I still enjoyed writing, I found that it didn't come to me nearly as easily. I struggled with words, and writing began to frustrate me. I wanted to be a good writer so badly, but what kind of writer struggles with words? I'd try to follow different writing structures; I'd try to articulate myself by using big words in hopes that I'd be able to properly convey my thoughts, but it was all to no avail, and writing only continued to frustrate me. It had become a chore, and so, I stopped writing, at least for leisure, resigning to the fact that I'd never be happy with my writing; words and I simply didn't jive.
About ten months ago, at the start of my internship, I received a little black notebook, not too different from the ones my dad used to bring home. That evening, I met Brandon Stanton from Humans of New York, who was an idol to me. I was overcome with so many emotions that I hadn't felt in so long, and I wanted to document those emotions. And so, I took out that little black notebook, and I wrote. It probably wasn't very good, but I wrote... and continued to write afterwards, documenting how I felt whenever I was in the mood. Since then, I've filled up that little black notebook, and I'm currently working on my second notebook. I'm sure there's a lot of really bad writing in there, but there are also a few gems in there too. The thing is, I'm proud of every single word written in there, because it's honest and it's me.
I've come to realize the difference between my writing before and my writing now. In my quest to be a decent writer, I lost the true purpose of writing. I wanted to be a decent writer so badly that I stopped writing for myself and started writing for others; I stopped being honest in my writing and started writing what I thought others would like. Combine that with my struggle with words, it's very easy to see why I got so frustrated. I still struggle with words, but I'm getting there.
I think I've discovered the power and therapy in writing. So, I'm going to write, and I'm going to write honestly. Most of it probably won't be very good, but it'll be honest, and that's enough for me. Feel free to follow along if you're so inclined. Every once in a while, I'll come up with a gem, and my hope is that that gem will help and inspire others in some way. If I'm able to help just one person, then it's more than worth it for me to share my writing and expose just how bad of a writer I really am.
If you've made it this far, thank you for giving my words your attention for this long, as it means more to me than you can ever know. I can't say how often I'll be writing, but I can say that I'll promise to do my best to make it worth the read.
Thank you again, and until next time...